The average human being farts 14 times a day.
How many times they do it in front of others will determine exactly how “human”—actually, “inhumane”—they are.
You fart enough every day to fill a balloon.
The average human farts about 700ml of flatus daily—enough to blow up a birthday balloon!
What exactly is a fart?
Flatulence—which occurs in nearly all living organisms—is a mixture of hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, carbon dioxide, sulfur dioxide, and in some cases, methane. These gases are produced as the byproduct of the trillions of bacteria that break down food during the digestive process.
The speed of farts.
Farts exit the anus and enter the world at a speed of 10 feet per second, or slightly less than seven miles per hour.
Women’s farts smell worse than men’s.
Female farts have a higher hydrogen sulfide concentration than male ones and thus, fart-for-fart, they’re smellier than dude farts.
Hitler had terrible gas.
Not only was the infamous Nazi dictator a speed freak, he also suffered from hepatitis and gastrointestinal cramps, which led to a condition of chronic flatulence for which he took 28 different medications. It is almost certain that no one complained to Hitler about the smell.
Then how about some fart-suppressing underwear?
A manufacturer known as Shreddies produces underwear featuring “charcoal-lined pads” designed to lessen the offensiveness of your wanton wind-breaking.
Inhaling farts can be healthy.
According to researchers at Exeter University, sniffing tiny amounts of hydrogen sulfide—the precise gas that makes farts stink—can reverse mitochondrial damage and help avert strokes, dementia, cancer, and heart attacks.
Farting among the dead.
For up to three hours after death and before rigor mortis sets in, dead human bodies have been known to continue burping and farting.
“Professional Fart Smeller” is a job in China.
These smart fellers make up to $50,000 a year by diagnosing digestive illnesses merely through the scent of the patient’s flatulence.
Nearly half of all women have farted during sex.
According to a study at the University of California San Francisco-East Bay, 43% of women surveyed reported that they’d experienced “flatal incontinence” within the previous three months, although this did not deter them from having sex.
Tighter anus = louder farts.
If you tend to emit farts that are as loud as a Metallica concert, this only means that you don’t have a wide-open, sloppy anus that would let you rip ’em much more silently. So go ahead and be embarrassed that you fart so loudly, but also take some pride in the fact that your anus is tight.